Murders in the Toy Chest

Murders in the Toy Chest
A DETECTIVE MYSTERY
by
ROBERT C.



All of the toys stood in horror as they gazed upon the mangled, melted corpse of the green army man. Someone or something used a book of matches to melt him. Who would be so evil, and empty-hearted as to kill another toy? That is the question I ask myself every time I am up for the case.

My name is Snuggles the bear, but as long as I am on duty, you can call me detective. Recently there have been quite a number of strange deaths among the toy chest. The most recent of which was one of my closest friends, the green army man. He had no enemies as far as I knew, and nothing to give anyone incentive to kill him. Even more mysteriously, I have just been informed by my sidekick, Ham the piggybank that the melted remains of what was once a dear friend of mine had vanished mysteriously early this morning, while every other toy was asleep.

“Think Ham, who was in that area around that time last night? Anyone suspicious?”

“No sir, Detective Snuggles. After carefully analyzing the video cameras, no one in particular seemed suspicious, though I did notice Mrs. Potato head was wearing her angry eyes that night. Perhaps we should head over there.”

“Well then, let us hurry, for there is no time to waste!”

Ham and I hopped into the remote controlled car. It was a long journey from the toy chest over to the Potato head house, and the exasperating clamor of change bouncing up and down inside Ham was enough to drive me to the brink of insanity. Nonetheless, I endured the racket the whole journey there.

On our way to the Potato head house, we passed by the restricted limits. These limits were the door way and anything past it. These limits were placed for the safety of all the toys. If anyone were to pass it, they were in danger of being eaten by the master’s pet dog, or worse yet, being seen. Another strict rule for every toy was not to be seen animate in the presence of a human, as this could lead to major trouble down the way.

Suddenly, a shrill barking was heard from beyond the restricted limits.

“Did you hear that?” said Ham in a nervous wreck.

I kept quiet, and floored the power on the car to head full speed, and avoid the doorway.

During the ride, Ham began talking to me about his family. Normally, being in the detective force, there was never much time for dealing with personal matters. He had said that all he had to live for was his wife and newborn twins. What was saddening though, was that the master had smashed his wife open a while ago, and took all of her change out. It was just too bad she did not have a cork like Ham did, otherwise this tragedy could have been prevented. Such a horrendous sight led Ham to help prevent crime by joining the detective agency.

After the saddening speech and long hours of traveling, we had finally arrived at the Potato Head house, and apparently not a minute too soon. I cautiously approached, however, for I had noticed an unfamiliar guest was entering the house.

“Come along, Ham,” I demanded as I exited the car. A somewhat gloomy presence befell as I drew near the door. The Potato Head house wasn’t exactly the most well-kept area of the master’s room. Ham and I stood impatiently, while awaiting an answer at the door.

“You may want to wait here and stand guard, Ham,” I said. “I don’t much care for the looks of this place.”

“Yes sir, detective Snuggles!”

Mr. Potato Head arrived at the door, looking as though he was flustered and in a panic for some reason.

“Mind if I have a word with you?” I asked.

In a hurry to get things over with, he said it was okay, and hastily let me in.

I looked around for a sign. Some sort of reason for Mrs. Potato Head to wear her angry eyes for a change. It most likely had to do with the guest who had just entered not too long ago, as I would imagine.

“Sit down,” said Mr. Potato Head.

As I sat, I noticed Mr. Potato Head was missing an ear.

“How long ago did you loose your ear?” I asked him.

“Last night!” he exclaimed. “I lost it last night, and have spent my whole day looking for it.”

“Last night, huh?”

“Yes, and that is why I may have appeared a mess as you answered the door, which I have yet to apologize for.”

“Hmm, well no matter, though I am curious as to the fact that you lost it around the same time the murder had occurred.”

“Murder? What murder? Who?”

“It was one of my closest friends, the green army man, who was murdered last night. We have reason to believe that it was your wife who had done it. Tell me, do you know any reason why your wife would be upset on that night?”

“Umm… Well… You see, that depends… Can I trust you to keep a secret?”

“Detectives’ confidentiality my dear spud! Anything, to help solve the case!”

Well then, might I say that I have not been completely honest with you. You see, my wife doesn’t, or shouldn’t rather, know that I am seeing someone else. Do you think, perhaps, that she has been spying on me?”

“What? But… but… I always thought that you and the Mrs. were close. I would have never guessed that y…”

“Shh… keep your voice down. My wife will be here shortly.”

“Very well then,” I whispered, “Now, I do not know for sure if she knows or not, However, I did notice you let someone in just before me. Who, might I ask was it?”

“Alright honey, I guess our little charade is up!” he said glancing toward the drapes.

Suddenly, out from behind the curtains, appeared a beautiful doll who began approaching.

“My word!” I remarked, “Is that really you Barbie?”

“Yes, and I suppose this means that you already know the full story then.” She said. “Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot to apologize for not being able to visit you last night spuddy, I was too busy with some other plans and…”

“Some other plans huh?” I interrupted. “And what would these plans involve?”

“Oh, no, it’s nothing really. My old boyfriend Ken had stopped by and…”

“Hold it. Hold on one second. Do you honestly expect me to believe that?”

“Well yes, actually I would,” said Barbie.

“So I’m supposed to assume that you are telling me the truth about you and Ken, and it really wasn’t you who killed the green army man last night.”

“What? I would never… But who would kill him?”

“That is precisely what I am trying to find out! You see, given your appearance, I would imagine you are very self-conscious, an inferiority complex perhaps, and might be worried about one of the other toys out staging you, and being more popular than yourself. Not to mention, that you had “plans” earlier which I cannot confirm.”

“While your words are well thought out, detective, I must come clean. It is true, that I do have an inferiority complex, however I would never have it in me to kill.”

“Then Ken, perhaps, what motive would he have?”

“None! Ken is a sweet person, but he broke up with me. He just felt like we should go our separate ways, and it seems like it has been working for the both of us. My little spuddy and I have been sneak…”

Just then, in mid conversation, Mrs. Potato Head bursts in yelling, “POTATO HEAD!!! I demand you tell me what is going on this instant! First I go out to buy you a new ear from the spare parts bin, only to come here and over hear this little conversation between you, that detective over there, and Barbie. Has the love in our relationship really taken this turn?”

Before Potato Head could say anymore, I broke into the conversation. “Hold on there Mrs. Potato Head. Before we continue this argument, I must interrupt you and say that you are a suspect in this murder.”

“Oh, you must mean the one of Raggedy Ann.”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “Did you say Raggedy Ann?”

Why yes, on my way back from the spare parts bin, I happened to come across the murder of Raggedy Ann, only a few blocks away and…”

“Oh great, another murder?”

“What? Another? What do you mean? What has happened? Is this a problem?”

“No, no… Only yet another complication. I suppose this means that I have wrongfully accused the two of you for these murders, but that only leads me to another dead end. By what means, exactly, was Raggedy Ann killed Mrs. Potato Head?”

“Oh, it was dreadful,” said Mrs. Potato Head. “She was unstitched, and had all of her stuffing sucked from what was left of her body!”

“Hmm, I’m afraid we must end this conversation here. Tell me, where was this scene again?”

“Oh, only about four blocks down the alphabet blocks.”

“Why that’s just walking distance from here, but I suppose while we are at it, we could save time by taking the car.”

The four of them hopped into the car, only for Snuggles to have realized that Ham was supposed to be guarding the house this whole time.

“Where could he be?” I thought to myself, but I was in too much of a panic to stick around.

We arrived momentarily at the scene. Toys were gathered all around. Mrs. Potato Head was right. It was quite a gruesome sight to behold. My senses had detected that there was a trail of yarn leading around the corner, and underneath the bed.

I followed the trail all alone, leaving the others behind at the scene. It grew dark quickly, and the same gloominess of the Potato Head house had suddenly returned. There, amidst the shadows was a pair of glowing eyes. Out of sheer curiosity, I digressed from the trail, and began heading towards the mysterious set of eyes. Suddenly, the opaque darkness that was engulfing the area grew thin, as the eyes began to light up. Before I knew it, I was up close, and face to face with the most misunderstood toy of all, a furby. The Furby told me of its past, about how it gave the master nightmares, and was shunned from the light of day, cast beneath the bed to be long forgotten.

Suspicious as it was, I did not imagine it to be the culprit. Though it would have the ability to kill, and no one would be aware of its existence, it just didn’t seem like a valid excuse of a suspect. I had asked it questions about the recent murders. Whether it was aware of them or not didn’t matter. What did matter though, was if it had seen anything unusual lately. So I asked, “Did you, or did you not see anything out of the ordinary recently?”

“Well, aside from you, the only thing of obscure occurrence within the past few days was this infuriating racket that sounded like change jingling.”

Thinking to myself in disgust I though, “Of course, I should have known. His mysterious absence gave him the perfect opportunity to strike. Though I hate to admit it, he was the last one I would have suspected. Thank you for your assistance. It is greatly appreciated. I must be on my way now, for it is vital I am not late.”

“God speed detective”

I turned around and began to follow the trail of yarn once again. I followed it and followed it to the very end, where I was able to confirm my suspicion. There, before me at the end of the trail, was a penny, the missing Potato Head ear, and the conclusion of this mystery. Only one thing left to do. Apprehend and interrogate Ham, and bring this case to justice.

I followed the trail back to the other end. To my surprise, the whole scene had been cleaned up. Picked dry, down to the very last fiber. For whatever intention Ham had, it required every last bit. But why be so meticulous as to pick every thread? I suppose only time can tell that.

Ham must have stolen the car, for it was gone when I returned to the scene. I walked back over to the Potato Head house, being one of the closest houses near by. Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head were both home safely. I returned the ear that I found beneath the bed, though to my astonishment, another one of his ears was missing. Relaying the information of the crimes to him would be useless until I plug his ear back in.

After thorough explanation, I borrowed his spud mobile, and went on the lookout for Ham. “Where could he have gone?” I asked myself, and then I remembered the story Mrs. Spud had given about walking to the spare parts bin on her way home. Suddenly it became obvious to me. This whole scheme must have been all for profit. Ham never seemed like the greedy type, but I suppose there is only one way to find the underlying cause of this.

I raced over to the spare parts bin, and knew I was at the right place when I saw the car out in front of it. The toy in charge of the bin was just then handing Ham a stack of change as I had arrived.

“HAM YOU GREEDY SWINE!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Startled and in a panic, he dashed for the car, and hurried away. I hopped in the spud mobile in pursuit of him, but it was too late. Then, an idea rushed through my mind. I realized that since he was in this for the money, would not be afraid to kill for more.

So I formulated a plan. My objective was to use something as bait, and lure Ham into a trap. I managed to accumulate a willing toy as my bait. The Lego man, who had offered his service to me, came in handy, for his many spare parts were detachable, and made for a perfect lure. Besides, someone so heartless as to kill two toys, should have no remorse over striking a third. I detached the Lego man and threw the pieces into the trunk of the spud mobile.

I came up to an empty car parked beside the restricted limits. Lucky for me, Ham’s car had run out of battery power, and came to a halt, forcing him to travel on foot. Eventually, I had caught up with him. He was wandering around looking for a place to stay the night. I drove up ahead, planted the spare Lego parts as bait, and began waiting for Ham to find them.

“Gotcha!” I exclaimed, as I saw his shadow approaching from near the restricted limits. As he drew near the pile of Lego parts, I was ready to make my confrontation. Just as he bent down to reach for the Lego parts, his cork fell out, spilling quite a large sum of change on the ground.

“What better opportunity than now, to apprehend him,” I thought. “It’s over now Ham,” I had shouted. “It’s been fun, but the game is up!”

“Oh Pork chops!” He said while bending down to gather the spilled change.

“Did you really think you could get away with this? I mean really. You killed innocent toys, and for what, some old chump change?”

“You wouldn’t understand Snuggles. Have you ever stopped to think about my family who is struggling to make a living?”

“To be honest, your story had saddened me so much, I was thinking of giving you a raise. You never happened to mention your personal life to me at all until we were in the car. It is truly a shame about your wife and the poor twins who have been left motherless, but have you ever stopped to think about the families you destroyed through your greed? Raggedy Andy must be in shreds over Raggedy Ann. Those two were manufactured for each other. Anyways, none of that matters now. Just come with me quietly and I might let you out of jail in twenty years”

“No way Snuggles, I can’t afford to go to jail,” said Ham as he began mindlessly running toward the restricted limits.”

“Are you mad? Those limits are restricted for a reason.”

“None of those rules matter anymore. I am dead no matter which way I take. At least with this one, there is a chance of survival, and an opportunity of starting a new life. What do I have to live for here?”

“Your children for one thing. If you stay here, at least they would see you every once in a while!”

“I know you’d make a much better father than I, Snuggles. Please take care of them,” he said, and ran for his life out the door.

“Darn it, why must they always run?”

“Farewell Snuggles, from here on, I shall stand in Heaven. I will pass the point of no return, and venture farther than any toy has ever ventured out before.”

And with a change of heart, I began trying to keep him from making a poor decision. I tried to stop him from destroying his life. “By just passing the door way, you made it farther than anyone, now please rethink your actions. Come back to your friends and family here!”


“Well…”

Ham was then interrupted by the very same shrill barking noise we had heard earlier. The master’s pet dog skyrocketed in stature in comparison to the hopeless piggy bank that stood before it.

I watched in both horror and awe as my companion was ripped apart by the hound’s massive jaws, and then shredded to bacon bits. The case was closed, while a hole in my heart was opened. While I see how he got what he deserved, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him and his family. If they were struggling before, just imaging the little piglets without a father to care for them.

And so, after seeing such a horrendous sight, I took in Ham’s twins like he had asked, and made sure they had a good home. When everything was put to closure, I was finally able to rest. The murders in the toy chest had been solved, and I decided to appoint the helpful Furby I had met as my new sidekick. I believe his senses have become more acute from living the life of self-seclusion, thus making him quite a fair detective. However, no one could fill the gap left in my heart from the loss of a best friend. At least Ham had accomplished what his final words were, and is now standing in heaven.